A Warped Final Fantasy X
by Saddened Soul
Summary: The FFX and FFX-2 characters have their own roles in school and life! But what happens when some bad stuff occurs... COMPLETED!
1. A Strange Coincidence Maybe

(Hey it is I, ObliviX. This is just my you know... What the heck! "Now, surrender your soul." "No way!" I take out a samurai sword. "Puny human!" "Oh well, enjoy the story!")  
  
Chapter One: A Strange Coincidence? Maybe.  
  
Seymour threw down his strategy guide. He let out a long sigh. "Darn, if I could only figure out how to defeat Seymour..." Seymour's head flew up. "Wait, how come at this moment in time did I just notice that the Seymour from Final Fantasy X looks exactly like me, including the hair. But, not the accent."  
Seymour looked at his digital watch. It was 4'o clock. "Dang, I've stayed up for awhile. Well, I'll just sleep in my normal clothes so I won't have to get ready for school tomorrow. Oh yeah, it's the first day, right? Oh well."  
Seymour flopped into his bed.  
The night rolled on. It was always tough finding a comfortable position because of Seymour's hair. It was not his fault. As far back as he remembered, his hair grew as he grew. He always got the idea, it had a mind of it's own. Sometimes, he swore he heard say it liked a girl at his school. It was a strange feeling, to have a living being attached to your head.  
Seymour sighed. "I wonder, could it be possible? Could Final Fantasy X and Final Fantasy X-2 somehow be connected to the real world?"  
Seymour closed his eyes. A strange voice echoed in and out of his head. "The answer is right under your nose, and you don't even know it," the voice echoed. Seymour turned. "Shut up, hair. I'm not in the stinking mood."  
  
(Hoped you liked the first chapter. Sorry it was so short. I'll make the next one longer. Oh yeah and review when you can. And what did you think of Seymour's hair? Yeah so... Ah, man! It's the evil dude who tried to get my soul. Oh well.) 


	2. The Trials of Education

(ObliviX runs for his life screaming like a girl, while the evil dude dashes after him.)  
  
Chapter Two: The Trials of Education  
  
The digital clock seemed to make the same noise over and over, attempting to awake the blonde seventeen-year old. Tidus brought the covers over his head trying to drown out the horrible noise of the clock, while his father strode into the room. Jecht reached over to the clock and pressed the OFF button. The horrible noise stopped.  
Tidus pulled the covers behind to see the face of his father. "Morning," Jecht said. Tidus's head fell back onto the pillow.  
Tidus trotted out of his house quickly, waving bye to his father. He almost bumped into Wakka.  
"Hey man, you slept little later than usual," Wakka said cheerfully. Tidus shrugged. He slung his backpack over his shoulder and replied, "And why are you so cheery today?"  
Wakka smiled. "I've got a good feeling about today. We're gonna make something of ourselves," Wakka replied.  
The two walked to the school. They did not stick out too much. Tidus wore a yellow sweater with a white hood and blue jeans. Wakka had a whit shirt on with beige colored shorts.  
Wakka smiled again. "And besides, we might just snag ourselves a couple of girls." Tidus shrugged. Wakka and himself were average. You see, at their school, a popularity rating was established. The ratings are Nerd, Nerdy, Geek, Average, Cool, Popular, and Famous. Tidus never understood why famous was a rating, but he never bothered to ask.  
As the two neared the school, only a few people were outside. Tidus spotted a student leaning against a wall. He had silver hair, and wore a dark green jacket that went over a black shirt. He had black pants on as well. The other three students were Lenne, the most popular singer at the school, Gippal, and a guy who had strange blue hair.  
Gippal seemed to be speaking to Lenne when he saw Tidus and Wakka. "Hey guys! Get over here!" he called out to them. Wakka and Tidus walked over to Gippal and Lenne. Gippal was head of the Blitzball team at the school. Since Wakka and Tidus had been on the team, the three were pretty good friends.  
"So, you guys trying out?" he asked. "Of course!" Tidus answered. However, Wakka shaked his head. "Sorry, but I don't think I'm up for blitzball this year brudda."  
Gippal was about to speak when the blue-haired kid walked up to them.  
"Hey, can one of you guys show me around the school? I'm, uh, new," Seymour said. Tidus turned to him. "Sure. I'll show you around." He turned and waved bye to Wakka and Gippal, and walked off with Seymour.  
"So, your name's Seymour?" Tidus asked. Seymour nodded. Then, the announcer spoke. "Each student must report to the auditorium in twenty minutes."  
Tidus looked at Seymour. "Uh, sorry I couldn't show you around more." Seymour smiled. "It's okay, I can manage."  
The two started walking toward the auditorium. Tidus turned his head to face Seymour. "The auditorium is in this direction, so-, Tidus suddenly got hit in the face with a backpack. He fell to the floor, as did the carrier of the pack.  
Tidus got up slowly, and turned to see that the other person was a girl. She pushed her hair out of face revealing one of the most beautiful faces Tidus had ever seen.  
The girl had light skin, and light brown hair. The only things that seemed out of place were her eyes. One was green, the other blue.  
"I'm so sorry! I didn't even see you!" stammered the girl. She tried picking up his backpack and hand it to him, but Tidus stopped her. "No, it's okay. I always get whacked in the face with backpacks.  
"Here." He picked up her pack and handed it to her. They both stood up. Tidus could now see the girl completely. She wore a sleeveless blue shirt with buttons, and a dark blue skirt. She had on purple boots.  
"Thank you," she said to him. Tidus blushed. "Oh yeah, and, uh, my name's Tidus," he stammered. The girl looked at him. She blushed a little herself. "My name is Yuna."  
They both looked at each other until Seymour broke the silence. "Um, I know this is a nice moment and all, but we have to be at a presentation." Tidus and Yuna turned to look at him. "Oh yeah!" they both said in unison.  
They raced off to the auditorium. Seymour chuckled. He got the strange feeling that they were going to be a perfect couple.  
  
(Well, now, how'd you like it? Told you I'd make the chapter longer. Review. I think I got away from the evil dude. "Think again." Awww, man! Well, see ya!) 


	3. Bad Things Happen Well Not Really

("I think I'm safe here." ObliviX is huddled under a Burger King counter. A dark mists creeps into the room. It takes the form of an evil dude. He walks over to the counter. ObliviX rises up, his eyes closed. "Can I take your order?" "Yes, I'd like to have your soul." "EEEEEEEHHHHHHHHHH")  
  
Chapter Three: The Trials of Education, Again, and Bad Things Happen  
  
Tidus and Seymour walked to the auditorium. Yuna had run off somewhere. Every few minutes Tidus would say, "She was cute," or, "She was nice." Seymour got agitated from it and told Tidus to stop.  
The auditorium was large, with a large curtain hiding the back of a huge stage. There was a podium, with the principal standing in it.  
Wakka spotted Tidus and Seymour and waved to them. Tidus saw him and they walked over and sat down.  
"What took you so long brudda? They're about to start," Wakka asked. Tidus was about to reply when Seymour answered for him. "He met a cute girl." Tidus blushed. Wakka grinned. "I told you brudda, things were looking good for us this year," he said.  
After the room had quieted down, the principal started to speak. "I thank you all for being able to make it to this presentation. I'm here to welcome you all to Seaside High School."  
Seymour nudged Tidus. Does he always do this?" Tidus nodded. "Every year. And he always says the same words, never fails."  
The principal stated that all students must report to classes in ten minutes. Tidus, Seymour, and Wakka walked out of the auditorium. Wakka stared at Seymour's hair. "How do you get it like that?" Wakka's hair had a slight spike in the front, so he was at "level one" as he says. In Wakka's point of view, Seymour was at "level five." Seymour's face tensed. "Actually, my hair grew like this. When I was seven, it was seven. It's a living being, and has feelings."  
"Okay," Wakka said nervously. "Tidus!" The three turned around to see Yuna walking towards them. Wakka nudged Tidus. "Is she the one?" he whispered. Tidus blushed. Yuna smiled. "I'd like to introduce my cousin, Rikku." Beside Yuna, stood a blonde- haired girl. Her hair had braids that fell to the sides of her face. On the top it was in a bun. She was wearing an orange sleeveless shirt and a green skirt. She had some yellow tennis shoes.  
"So, Yunie, is this your boyfriend?" Rikku asked inspecting Tidus. Yuna blushed horribly. "No!" she said loudly. Tidus also blushed at this statement. "Uh, well it was nice meeting you Rikku. Bye!" he said quickly and sped off down the hall.  
Yuna also sped down the opposite hall, leaving Rikku with Seymour and Wakka. After a few moments, she sped down the hall.  
"So, Wakka, what class do you have?" Seymour asked. Wakka scratched his head and pulled out his schedule. It was folded up and wrinkled, making it hard to see what was on there. "Right now, I have home ec." Wakka frowned. "Home ec!? No, this has go to be a mistake!" Seymour sighed. "Hey, no sweat. I have that class too. I'll help you out."  
Seymour and Wakka walked into the room, to see that there were about five students in the room, including Tidus. "Hey, what are you doing in this class?" Wakka asked. Tidus smiled. "Cooking is my passion! I signed up for it! The first one actually."  
Tidus wiped his face with his apron, to see the teacher enter the room. She was a plump woman, with blonde hair in a bun. She had an apron and hair net, appearing to be one of the lunch ladies.  
"Now, all of you sissies pair up! You're sissies 'cause you're in this class," she bellowed. Tidus turned. "Seymour, you seem to be keen to cooking. Come over here!" Tidus said. Seymour shrugged. "Okay."  
Everyone paired up quickly, leaving Wakka standing in the dust. (Literally)  
"You. You're coming with me," the lady bellowed, pointing to Wakka. Wakka's mouth opened. "NO!!!!!!"  
"Now, you're all just gonna do whatever you want with the food, while I just sit here and eat."  
Tidus jumped up. "Seymour! Let's make a cake, and sell it for some gils!" Tidus exclaimed. Seymour shrugged. "Okay."  
So, the class slaved for what seemed like hours. (But was really five minutes.)  
Seymour clutched his head. "Ugh, I'm not feeling too well. Tidus you keep it up." Seymour started to walk somewhere, but then stopped. "Of course, at least try to keep it up." Seymour started to laugh a horrible laugh. Veins started to appear in his forehead. A black aura appeared around him.  
Everyone was watching, except for the lunch lady who was stuffing herself with the garbage. "Whoa, Seymour, you feeling okay? You look funky," Tidus said, watching. Seymour shaked his head. "I'm feeling great, of course, I'm not Seymour, so it doesn't really matter."  
Seymour held out his hand in Tidus's direction. Suddenly, Tidus was pushed against the wall. "Hey! Could you loosen up on the physic powers?" Tidus asked pinned against the wall.  
Seymour laughed. "First, I'd like to introduce myself. I am the dark god of oblivion, SEPHIROTH!" Tidus frowned. "The Sephiroth from Final Fantasy VII?" Sephiroth shook his head. "No, you stupid imbecile. Square Enix stole my name. Anyway, I almost controlled the world, but I was defeated and banished away. Well, I took refuge in a human boy he was about two. I was too weak to control his whole body, so I controlled his hair. It was the only place, which was suitable enough. I decided to stay there until my I regained my strength. So, I've been here for sixteen years."  
"Now all of you will be pinned against the wall like this stupid head here." "Hey!" Tidus yelled. Sephiroth waved Seymour's hand, causing everybody but Wakka to be pinned against the wall.  
Sephiroth frowned. "Why didn't it work on you?" he asked, directing the question towards Wakka. "I dunno."  
"Wakka, get him! He's an evil dude!" Tidus yelled. Sephiroth turned to Tidus. "Would you please shut up!" He waved his hand again, muting Tidus.  
Wakka stood straight. "Apparently, I have to stop you," Wakka stated. Sephiroth started to laugh. "You... What could you possibly do?" Sephiroth stammered. Wakka just ran up and punched Sephiroth, (Really Seymour) knocking him to the ground.  
Everyone could start to move, and Tidus could talk. "Yay! I can talk!"  
Seymour opened his eyes. "What happened?" he asked plainly. Tidus smiled. "Oh, nothing big. You were just possessed by an evil god that is trapped in your hair."  
Seymour got up. "I always knew my hair was a living being."  
  
(I lost the evil dude for now. Anyway, review. Oh, and what do you think of Seymour's hair?) 


	4. The Introduction of Auron

(Ka... Me... Ha...Me... HA!!!!! ObliviX flashes out his hands and fires out the energy blast. The evil dude seems to have been obliterated. "Yay! I did it, I did it-. The evil dude forms behind ObliviX. "Well now, don't you know that I can't die?" "Curse you!")  
  
Chapter Four: Tidus Gets Himself in to A lot of Trouble... And Auron is Introduced  
  
Wakka walks down the street towards Tidus's house. Every Saturday night, Wakka comes to Tidus's house and they do stuff... random stuff. This time, they decided to play Tidus's Playstation 2 all night. But, they needed a game that would sustain them for the night. So, Wakka spent all day at Best Buy searching for the right game. He got two games, five DVDs, and seven floppy discs.  
Wakka walked up to the door and rang the doorbell about six times. Wakka knew that at this time Jecht (Tidus's father, if you didn't read Chapter Two) was out in the city, getting drunk and having a good time.  
"Come on brudda! Let's get this show on the road!" Wakka hollered. Tidus walked over to the door, and opened it. Wakka smirked and walked inside of the house. "Here brudda! Would you please take my bag, I am a guest."  
Without a word, Tidus grabbed his bag and dropped it an inch away from the doorway.  
Tidus's room was a mess. He still had not cleaned up from his birthday two weeks ago. There were many wrappers on the floor. Wakka plopped down on the floor.  
"So, what did you find? Anything worth our time?" Tidus asked, sitting down next to him.  
Wakka reached inside his bag and brought the two games out. He handed the first one to Tidus. "You know, I thought he looked like you," Wakka stated.  
Tidus studied the case of the game, "Final Fantasy X". After a few seconds, Tidus replied, "I see no resemblance."  
He ripped the plastic cover off, opened the case, took out the instruction manual, scanned it for two seconds, threw it in the trash, saying it was crap, and then took out the disc and placed it in the disc drive.  
After watching the opening cinema feature, Tidus coughed. He then nudged Wakka. "How much gil did this game cost?" Wakka shrugged. "How should I know?"  
Tidus rolled his eyes. He then started the game.  
After getting to the part where you choose a name for the main character, Wakka stroked his chin. "Look. His name's yours, ya?" Tidus coughed. "Not anymore." He pressed the button to erase the name, and then inputted, Stupid-head.  
"How do you like that? Now his name's not mine." Wakka looked at him. "Brudda, it's still the same." Tidus looked at him suspiciously. "What are you talking about?" Wakka sighed. "Your name's Stupid-head, stupid-head," he stated.  
Tidus looked back and changed the name... just to make sure.  
After beating the game in two hours, Tidus sighed. "Well, it was decent. An ending we can all agree on," he commented. Wakka was crying his eyes out. "No... Yuna lost Tidus... Why can't anything turn out good in these games?"  
Tidus pushed him out of the way, and grabbed the second case and looked at the back. His mouth opened a bit. He took out the instruction manual. He analyzed it for a minute. "Oh... My... God..."  
Tidus quickly slid the manual under his bed. "Wakka! You got us a game full of strippers!"  
Wakka stared at him. "Could we start?" he asked calmly. Tidus shrugged and replied, "Okay."  
Meanwhile, at Yuna's house, Rikku is playing the game "Soul Caliber II" with a silver- haired girl with blood red eyes.  
"So, Paine," Rikku started, "do you like South Park?" Paine calmly pressed a few buttons and replied, "I think South Park is a piece of trash."  
Rikku gasped. "That is not true!" Paine then replied, "Alright, it's a piece of junk." Rikku snared at Paine. "It is not!" she said in an angry tone. Paine smiled. "Well then, it's a piece of crap." Rikku was about to respond when Paine said, "Okay, we can call it a piece of- Rikku jumped on her and covered her mouth. "Please! Don't say it!"  
Paine pushed Rikku off and looked at the TV screen. "And it seems I've won."  
Rikku started to whine like crazy.  
The next day at school, Seymour, Tidus, and Wakka are busy getting their lunch. As Tidus was paying, Wakka was eyeing a particular girl.  
"Brudda, look at her," he whispered. Tidus sat down at a table and looked where Wakka was pointing.  
Sitting there was a black- haired girl whose hair was in braids. She wore a dark velvet long- sleeve shirt with a black jacket covering it. She had on about three belts, and black pants.  
Tidus and Seymour just looked at Wakka waiting for his next move.  
Seymour responded first. "Wakka aren't you gonna make a move?"  
Wakka gulped and walked over to the table she was sitting at.  
Meanwhile, a couple of seniors walked over to the table where Tidus and Seymour were sitting at. "Hey kids, you do know this is our table right?" small one asked. The big muscular one just smacked his fist into his open hand.  
Tidus just stared at them. "Sorry, but we're sitting here," Tidus replied.  
The small one snapped his fingers and the big one grasped Tidus by his collar. Tidus gulped and started sweating.  
"Let him go." The whole lunchroom became suddenly quiet when this voice was heard.  
The person who said this walked over to the big one. The big one dropped Tidus to the ground, and ran off. The little one just stood there. "You think this is over Auron, but you're wrong," he said before running off.  
Tidus got up and looked at his savior. Auron was wearing a red shirt with a dark red jacket covering it. He was wearing black pants with brown boots.  
"The name's Auron," he said in a calm voice. Tidus got up and told him his own name. "Tidus, eh?" Auron said.  
Auron then walked off. Tidus was a bout to sit down when Rikku dashed over to his seat.  
"Wow! That was so cool!" Tidus ignored her and sat down. "Um, that guy was strange, a bit too calm," he stated. "Yeah, my brother can be like that sometimes."  
Yuna sat down next to Seymour. Tidus looked at her. "He's your brother?" he asked.  
Yuna nodded.  
  
(Yay! The end of Chapter Four! Next chapter will have another Sephiroth attack! Anyway, please review!) 


	5. Why You Shouldn't Shop at Malls

(I can't imagine why you've read this far, but thanks. Here's the chapter. Oh yeah, this story's funny, so LAUGH! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!)  
  
Chapter Five: Why You Shouldn't Shop at Malls  
  
"Tidus, I seriously think you should stop drinking all those freezies," Seymour said as he stared at Tidus. "Oh come on Seymour, what's the harm in drinking thirty freezies?"  
Seymour sipped his own freezie. "Well, aside from brain freezes and having an extreme urge to go to the bathroom, nothing."  
Tidus sipped the last of his freezie and laid back on his chair.  
"You know Seymour, it was a good idea to come to the mall this fine Saturday afternoon," Tidus said moving out of the chair. Suddenly, he winced.  
"Tidus, you okay?" Seymour asked urgently. Tidus nodded in pain. "My brain just feels like an ice-cube and I have an extreme urge to go to the bathroom. Well, gotta go!"  
Tidus sprang from his chair and darted towards the bathroom. Tidus crashed through one of the doors before stopping.  
"Wait, there's something wrong about this bathroom," he mumbled. He looked around. First of all, the walls had a slight hint of pink. Second, the bathroom was clean. Finally, worst of all, there were no urinals!  
Tidus started to back up. "Oh no. No, no, no... This is wrong!" he said aloud. Suddenly, the ten stalls opened up at the same time. Tidus recognized two of the girls. They were Yuna and Rikku. There was one with silver hair too.  
All ten girls looked up to see Tidus standing in front of them. "Boy!" they all shouted out. Suddenly, the girl at the first stall pressed a few buttons. A hole opened up beneath Tidus. "What the" was all he managed to get out before he fell.  
A hole opened up in the ceiling of the mall and Tidus fell through it landing on his head. "Well, that was rude," he commented. Suddenly, the hole opened up again and Yuna, Rikku, and Paine fell through it. Tidus squirmed out of the way before they landed on him, and that would probably break his spine.  
The three girls got up slowly, but once they did, Rikku grew so red, you could say she was transforming into a shiny red apple, just, without the stem and the leaf thingy.  
"Betrayers!" she yelled out angrily. Rikku then spurted out, "I'm so angry, I could kill fifty people!" She turned to Tidus. "The first one's right in front of me!" she yelled.  
Rikku jumped on Tidus and started strangling him, while Yuna and Paine just watched.  
"Rikku... Get off! You're seriously killing me! Seymour! Seymour?" Tidus yelled, but there was nobody in the chair that Seymour was sitting in.  
Suddenly, the intercom sounded. "Ahem. Hello all you pathetic mortals."  
Tidus pushed Rikku off and stood up. "That voice sounds vaguely familiar, but where have I heard it?"  
Meanwhile in the announcer room, "Get out of here! How dare you come in here and call us pathetic mortals!" Sephiroth (using Seymour's body) pushed the announcer dude off.  
"Muwahahahaha! You don't understand. I am the dark god of oblivion, SEPHIROTH!"  
The intercom was still on so, Tidus got his question answered.  
Rikku got up and started hopping around. "Oh, can we call you Sephy! It's an easier name! I can't pronounce your name, so change it!" Rikku cried out.  
Sephiroth got back to the intercom. "How about, I stick with it and I make you shut up? Oh, what is your favorite animal?"  
Rikku started smiling. "I like monkeys of course!"  
Sephiroth let out an evil laugh. "Okay then." He snapped Seymour's fingers and in a flashy display of lights, which were provided by the nearest technology store with lights in it, Rikku was turned into a monkey! (Yay!)  
Paine smirked, "Good move. I like her better this way."  
Rikku let out about twenty sentences of extreme cussing at Paine. Unfortunately, since Rikku was a monkey, nobody could understand what she was saying.  
Sephiroth grabbed Seymour's head. "Just shut up!" Sephiroth snapped Seymour's fingers, again, and Rikku was swallowed up by a dark vortex.  
"Where did you send her?!" Yuna yelled out urgently. "To a place where her stupidity can be useful, I hope," Paine commented.  
Sephiroth let out an evil laugh, again, and answered Yuna's question. "I've sent her to an infinite plane of complete and total darkness!"  
Tidus thought for a moment. "Wait, why haven't you sent me to an infinite plane of complete and total darkness?"  
Sephiroth stroked Seymour's chin. "Thanks for reminding me." Sephiroth snapped Seymour's fingers, yet again Tidus was swallowed by a dark vortex that leads to an infinite plane of complete and total darkness.  
Sephiroth was about to continue when Paine got behind him and smashed him in the head. Yuna walked into the room. Paine took out her pocketknife. "Do I kill him physically, or do I slit his throat?" Paine asked Yuna. "Don't kill him at all. Seymour's just used as a host. It's really not his fault," Yuna said. "Fine."  
  
(Don't worry about Rikku and Tidus, they'll come back. Next chapter, Seymour will ask Yuna to go on a date with him! And Wakka will try to impress Lulu. Tidus and Rikku just watch in amusement. Well, later!) 


	6. Making Relationships

(The cold night air gets to my nose as I run from the Burger King. I have no idea how to actually defeat the evil dude. His strength and speed surpass my own, and every time I win he just comes back more powerful. There has to be a way to defeat him, there has to be.)  
  
Chapter Six: Trying to Make a Relationship is a Waste of Time I some Cases, but not in These Cases  
  
"Oh come on brudda, don't you think I have a chance with Lulu?" Wakka asked Tidus as they walked to school on Monday. Tidus shook his head. "No, no I don't. She's in a totally different league then you are, and besides, didn't you say that the first time you talked to her she took no apparent interest in you?" Tidus replied. "Well you can at least be supportive! I've supported you in your relationship with Yuna." Tidus gritted his teeth. "We are not in a relationship! We are just friends! And you haven't even been supportive," Tidus snared back.  
Once Wakka spotted Seymour at school, he rushed over to him. "Seymour, do you think I have a chance with Lulu?" Seymour scratched his head. "No, but you can try," Seymour answered.  
Tidus was walking to his class when he barely missed the big one and the little one. He darted behind a locker and looked to see if the coast was clear. It was, so he walked carefully to his class.  
Math class was probably the most boring class he had. Mainly because the teacher was completely and totally boring and there were only two students, himself and Paine. However this time, there were four students. One was Lulu, and the other was the senior with silver hair and a green jacket he saw on the first day of school.  
He sat down at his regular seat and took out his pencil. The teacher got up from his desk. "Class I would like to introduce two new students, Lulu Wasami, and Baralai Niriatami. "That's just plain freaky, they both have Japanese last names that I think don't exist," Tidus thought.  
The teacher then grabbed a dry erase marker and wrote an extremely long and difficult calculus problem on the dry erase board.  
"Would any one of you please answer this," he said plainly.  
Lulu raised up her hand. "I will sir."  
She stood up from her desk and walked over to the board and did the problem in exactly three seconds.  
Tidus opened his mouth in shock.  
After school Tidus and Seymour were talking when Wakka came up to them. "This is it guys! I'm going to impress Lulu!" Wakka exclaimed. Tidus just popped his knuckles. "Well, try if you want."  
Wakka walked to where Lulu was while Seymour turned to Tidus. "Hey Tidus, I was wondering. Do you and Yuna like each other?" Tidus raised his eyebrow suspiciously. "Why?" Seymour blushed. "Well, I was gonna ask her out." Tidus smiled. "Hey, no problem! Don't worry about it!" Seymour smiled. "So, it's okay?" he asked. Tidus nodded. Seymour rushed off while Rikku ran over to Tidus.  
"Hey Tidus!" Tidus had no idea that Rikku was there so he almost got a heart attack.  
"Rikku! Don't do that!" Rikku just laughed. "So what's up?" she asked while jumping over the rail. Tidus shook his head. "Well, Wakka's trying to get Lulu to like him and Seymour's asking Yuna out on a date."  
Rikku nodded and flipped over the rail landing on her feet.  
Meanwhile, with Wakka and Lulu. "Hi Lulu," Wakka said nervously. Lulu didn't even need to look up from her laptop. "Hello, again." Wakka sat down next to her. "So, I was wondering, would you like to go see a movie, or something?" Lulu closed her laptop. "Why?" Wakka scratched his head. "I dunno. Get to know each other?" Lulu brushed a braid of hair to the side. "Why not?"  
She walked away and Wakka jumped up and dashed towards Tidus. "See? I told you I had a chance!" Wakka exclaimed. Seymour was almost exactly the same.  
Tidus just smirked. "Well that's all good, but I have to get ready for a movie tonight."  
  
(Well that's Chapter Six! Next chapter's gonna be action packed with some samurai goodness. Yeah well, I've got a battle to prepare for, so I'm out.) 


	7. If I'm going to fight a Samurai, I Must ...

(I close the door of the dojo and walk out into the snow. "It's time we finish this," I say in a determined tone. The dark figure just nodded and took out his blade. I unsheathed mine and held it out. I was finishing this.)  
  
Chapter Seven: "If I'm going to fight a Samurai, I must fight Like a Samurai."  
  
The cold night air got to Seymour as he stepped out of the car and walked to the door. He rang the doorbell once and stepped back.  
He heard a couple of voices before Yuna walked out of the door.  
"Hello Seymour," she said. Seymour nodded and smiled. "Come on Yuna, we have to hurry if we want to get to the movie on time."  
Meanwhile, Wakka and Lulu make it to the movie fifteen minutes before it starts.  
"Lu, your car is radical!" Wakka exclaimed. "Don't call me that," Lulu warned.  
Seymour and Yuna entered the theater to see Wakka and Lulu buying some popcorn and junk.  
"Hey guys!" Wakka called to them. Seymour and Yuna walked to them. "So, why are you guys here?" Seymour asked. "We're on a date," Wakka answered. "This is not a date," Lulu corrected him.  
As the four conversed, another person stepped through the entrance.  
"What's up guys?" The group turned to see Tidus standing next to them wearing a hat that said, Kill Bill Rocks.  
"Are you guys each on a date?" Tidus asked. Each of them nodded except for Lulu.  
"Hey brudda, are you here for the exclusive last showing of Kill Bill Volume One?" Wakka asked. Tidus smirked. "Why wouldn't I be?"  
"Um, excuse me, but guys, the movies are starting," Seymour commented.  
As everyone walked into his or her separate movie rooms, a voice echoed in Seymour's head. "Come on, Seymour, this is no fun. Can't I at least attack the imbecile?" Seymour sighed. "We've been over this five times. No! Tidus is my friend. You can't just attack him whenever you want." "Fine."  
Tidus sat down in his seat and sipped his Dr. Pepper. "This is perfect. Nothing could be wrong with this moment." As Tidus said this he noticed something was wrong. "Oh no! I don't have any chocolate raisins! Ugh, I have to go get some," he thought.  
Tidus exited the room and headed to the concession stand. "Um, excuse me, but do you have any chocolate raisins that I can purchase and snack on while watching "Kill Bill Volume One"?" Tidus asked. "Sure!" the dude at the concession stands replied.  
He took out a box of Raisnets and handed it to Tidus.  
"Hey, where did you get that hat?" the dude asked. Tidus grinned and replied, "eBay." "Thought so." Tidus handed the dude five gil and started to walk back before stopping.  
"Something's wrong," Tidus said. "What in the world are you talking about?" the dude asked.  
Suddenly, a small dagger heads straight for Tidus. Tidus jumps back just in time to dodge the dagger. He turned around to see three Japanese people wearing Japanese clothing jump through the window.  
"Are you the guys who tried to kill me?" Tidus asked. The samurai in the middle walked forward and nodded. "Yes, however, you did not escape completely unscaved."  
Tidus's hat split in two. Tidus watched in horror as the two parts of his hat fell to the ground.  
"My hat... It was one of a kind. You... you will pay!" Tidus said. "Oh? What can you do?" the samurai in the middle said sarcastically. He waved his hand, and the left samurai ran at Tidus. Tidus ducked, dodging the horizontal slash and replied by smashing his elbow into the samurai's stomach. Tidus then executed a jump kick, which knocked the samurai to the floor.  
"Well, not bad. But he was a weakling. Don't expect the same from us," the samurai in the middle said.  
Tidus picked up the samurai sword on the ground. "Alright then. If I'm going to fight a samurai, I must fight like a samurai."  
The remaining two samurai unsheathed their blades and rushed Tidus. Tidus blocked both their attacks and slashed horizontally. The two samurai jumped and landed in front of Tidus, and in back of Tidus. They slashed, but Tidus rolled out of the way. The two swords collided, but then the samurai with red hair immediately jumped and kicked Tidus in the face crashing him into the concession stand.  
"Are you okay?" the concession dude asked amazed. "Yeah I'm fine and dandy," Tidus replied.  
The samurai with red hair jumped and slashed downward. Tidus quickly grabbed the box of chocolate raisins and blocked the attack. The box spilled in half, pouring out all the raisins, which were chocolate of course.  
"Those cost me money!" Tidus yelled out. He flipped and kicked the samurai in the chin. He then kicked him in the stomach knocking the samurai to the floor.  
The last samurai reacted quickly and dashed shinobi style at Tidus. Tidus quickly grabbed the sword and blocked the attack. Tidus then executed three counter slashes. The samurai blocked each of them.  
"Ready to surrender?" the samurai asked. Tidus shook his head. "No way!" he shouted. Tidus jumped and slashed downward. However, the samurai slashed and sliced the metal blade in half.  
The samurai slashed, but Tidus flipped backwards. He then grabbed the sharp edge of the blade and threw it at the samurai's hand. The edge stabbed the samurai's hand. He dropped the sword while blood slowly trickled down.  
The samurai grasped his hand in pain. "This is... not the end. We shall meet again. The samurai then disappeared, DBZ style.  
The concession dude got five gil out of the cash register, and handed it to Tidus. "Here you go. It's your money back because the chocolate raisins were sliced in half."  
"Thanks!" Tidus replied cheerfully.  
  
(The story is starting to come to a close. PLEASE review and give me a few suggestions. I'm sort of blank on what should be in the next chapter. I'm probably going to make two sequels. One where there in college and another when it's five years later and they're adults. Oh well, live by the sword, die by the chocolate raisins!) 


	8. DETENTION

(The evil dude has been slain. I will now contend with one last thing, this story. Okay, this chapter is the last chapter before the last chapter. Meaning, there are only two chapters left. PLEASE REVIEW! And of course, expect a lot more troubles for Tidus.)  
  
Chapter Eight: DETENTION  
  
"Now class, this test is so important that it's more important than your life," Ms. Maya announced.  
Seymour gulped. He looked around. The only two people he considered friends in this class were Tidus and Yuna. The other thing that made him nervous was the fact that this test was more important than his life. He sighed. But it was the last class of the day and he just had to get it done.  
Yuna was so calm it was scary. Tidus got a creepy feeling every time she would ask him what time it was, or when she sharpened her pencil. Maybe it was just because she sat behind him and Seymour sat in front of him.  
Seymour was a different story. Tidus swore he could see Seymour's hair moving. It was scary.  
Ms. Maya passed out the tests and sat at her desk. The test was amazingly confusing for Seymour. "Don't worry Seymour, I'll do the test for you."  
Seymour's hair started to glow purple. His main strand of hair grabbed the pencil and started completing all of the problems.  
Tidus looked over at Seymour's paper. "What the? His hair is doing the problems?" Suddenly, Seymour's hand shot up. "Ms. Maya! I believe Tidus is looking at my paper and copying."  
Tidus recognized that voice. It wasn't Seymour it was Sephiroth.  
Ms. Maya stood up. "Mr. Tidus, get out of your seat."  
Tidus got out of his desk. "But Ms., I was not copying. He has a dark god of oblivion trapped in his hair. He's accusing me!" Tidus argued.  
The teacher laughed. "Dark god of oblivion? That has to be the stupidest story I've ever heard. Off to the principal's office with you! You as well Mr. Guado."  
Seymour stood up. "But I didn't do anything!" "Yes, but you were cheating. Your hair was completing the test."  
Seymour's hair glowed again. "Ms. Yuna was also copying off of Tidus who was copying off of me," Sephiroth stated.  
Ms. Maya looked up at Yuna. "You as well, Ms. Yuna."  
"But I wasn't copying!" Yuna said for the seventh time as the three walked to the principal's office. "How do you think I feel?" Tidus asked. "Here's some advice Seymour, get your hair an exorcism."  
The principal sat at his chair; the back of the chair faced the three students who sat at the three leather chairs. "I hear you three were cheating on your test. That is a rule that we highly enforce here. Failure to comply with not cheating results in instantaneous expulsion. But I've decided to give you a second chance."  
The principal snapped his fingers and Tidus, Yuna, and Seymour were in a pitch-black room. "Where are we?" Yuna asked.  
The principal's voice could be heard. "You are in the Room of Judgement. Here you will complete trials. Only two students will survive, er, I mean come out of the trials. The other student will be executed, I mean, um, expelled."  
The floor opened up, showing a huge abyss of blue. "This is the first trial. Each of you must cross the abyss by using the disappearing stepping stones, or by your own means. If any one of you fail you will be killed instantly... I mean, be expelled."  
The stepping stones started appearing, and Seymour, using his unearthly powers, floated across the abyss. He pointed his finger at Yuna and she also floated across the abyss.  
Tidus watched in shock. "Hey! That's what's called cheating!" he yelled. "Please shut up," the principal told Tidus.  
Tidus, using his ninja/ samurai abilities to jump from stone to stone, until he fell and died, well, expelled.  
  
(Sorry for the dumb ending. Tidus really didn't die, just... Um... Never mind. He'll just come back. Well I changed my mind. THER WILL BE TWO MORE CHAPTERS!) 


	9. Seymour Goes to get a Haircut! LALALALAL...

(Oh my god, I'm actually updating! Is it a sign of the apocalypse? Oh yeah, I want ten reviews, not nine! Oh yeah, there will be three more chapters, including this one.)  
  
Chapter Nine: Seymour goes to get a hair cut! LALALALALA! Oh yeah, and a Highway Chase  
  
"Dad, are you insane?! I've never gotten my hair cut in my life!" Seymour exclaimed as he and his father rode to the Macalania Plaza.  
"Seymour, the last time we tried to cut your hair you almost killed the barber and you kept on shouting, 'I AM THE DARK GOD OF OBLIVION, SEPHIROTH!' Why? Well, you were only five," his father replied.  
Seymour crossed his arms. "Fine."  
When they got to Happy Hair, The Place Where Hair is Happy, Seymour saw gruesome things.  
Basically, there were many scissors and junk, but you see, to a person who had bonded with his hair it was horrible.  
Meanwhile, Tidus and Wakka were walking to the exact same barber place.  
"Wakka, you don't need a hair cut, you don't need anything!" Tidus complained. Wakka punched Tidus in the arm. "But brudda, my little spiky thing is drooping."  
Tidus's eye twitched. "Wait, it takes two hours just for them to spike your wavy piece of hair?" Tidus asked.  
"Well yeah. It's a very delicate procedure," Wakka replied.  
Tidus stopped. "Mental note, never go with friends to places that involve their personal issues."  
"So Lulu, you and me go to the same barber place?" Rikku asked as Lulu, Yuna and herself rode on the city bus to the same Happy Hair place which Wakka and Tidus were also headed to.  
"So Yuna, what did you do over the weekend?" Lulu asked, ignoring Rikku's question, which ticked her off. Yuna looked up from the book she was reading. "Oh, I just bought a cat that I named Kimarhi."  
"Crap," Seymour said to himself as he saw that no one else was at Happy Hair. "Great, I have to go immediately."  
"Strange, I've never seen anyone with hair quite like this," the barber dude commented.  
"Yes, well, his hair is peculiar," said Jyscal, who was Seymour's father.  
"Don't worry," the barber started, "I'll be sure to completely redo it."  
The barber grabbed the scissors and prepared to deal with the toughest haircut he would ever encounter in his young yet junky life.  
He started to cut Seymour's hair. Strangely, the scissors broke the minute they clamped on Seymour's hair. It was his hair was made out of metal.  
The barber dude gritted his teeth. "Very complex, very. Well, if the scissors won't work, we must take it up a notch."  
"What do you have in mind?" Jyscal asked.  
"This," the barber dude said as he pulled out a large leather case. He opened it up, and took out a huge chainsaw and started cocking it.  
"Are you sure that's necessary?" Jyscal asked worriedly.  
The barber dude smiled. "No worries. It's not like I'm going to miss and decapitate him or something."  
Jyscal froze.  
"Oh my god," Seymour thought. "I have to get out of here. This isn't Happy Hair, it's a place where you get mutilated!"  
Rikku started twisting a strand of her hair on her finger. "So bored, so bored. Nothing, nothing to do. Must, exert energy. Going to go insane soon, very soon," she said as a very freaky expression appeared on her face.  
She turned to Lulu. "How can you just sit there? Aren't you going mad?"  
Lulu sighed. "I'm not, you are. It's easy to understand. I focus all of my energy, on looking straight ahead. Why don't you try?"  
"Okay!" Rikku tried it, for five seconds, before returning to her psychopathic state.  
Suddenly, the bus jerked to the left. Rikku smashed her head on the window, sending her to La La Land.  
Yuna grabbed the seat. "What was that?!" Yuna asked urgently. Lulu got up. "Look!"  
All of the passengers turned, to see a monkey driving the bus, while the driver was dead, on the floor.  
"We have to stop the monkey!" someone shouted.  
Tidus and Wakka walked down the street. "Wakka, do I truly, have to go with you?"  
Wakka laughed. "Well, brudda, you volunteered. So of course you're coming!"  
Tidus looked at him in horror. He then rubbed his face. "Why don't you just rip out my soul and kill me God?" he thought.  
Suddenly, they both saw a raging bus on fire head straight for them. "I didn't mean right now!" Tidus cried out. Wakka turned and pushed him out of the way in slow- motion. "NOOOO!!!!" he yelled out as he pushed Tidus out of the way.  
Time regained its natural state as the bus smashed Wakka into a building.  
"Wakka!" Tidus cried. He then stopped. "Hold on, now that Wakka died at an early age, I don't have to go to Happy Hair, the Place Where Your Hair Gets Happy."  
Wakka then came out and started walking towards Tidus. "Crap. Why have you forsaken me?" he muttered.  
"That was a close one, ya?" Tidus looked him. "You're supposed to be dead!"  
Wakka laughed. The bus nearly missed me, so we can go to Happy Hair!"  
Tidus was about to reply when the bus moved out and started moving again.  
"That bus was supposed to blow up too!" Wakka stared at him. "But brudda, what about all the innocent people who would be eradicated?"  
"Not my problem," Tidus replied.  
The bus then stopped and the monkey opened the window and looked at them. It then stuck its tongue out at Tidus and started driving off again.  
Tidus just stared. "That monkey, did NOT just provoke me."  
"He did," Wakka corrected. Tidus gritted his teeth. "Wakka, go jack a motorcycle. We're taking that monkey down!"  
"I'm with you there brudda!" Wakka then ran into the Harley Davidson shop next to them, beat up some people, and came out with a Hot rod.  
"Come on brudda! Let's do this!"  
Tidus jumped on, and they went after the bus.  
The barber dude started to use the chainsaw on Seymour's hair. It did not seem to be working.  
He did it for about two minutes. Two minutes later, the chainsaw fell apart.  
The barber dude just stared. He turned to Jyscal with his hand open. "That'll be five- hundred gil please."  
Jyscal stared at him. "Why should I pay you? His hair hasn't changed! And five- hundred gil?!"  
"It's impossible. And that's the normal fee 'cause you didn't really use a coupon or anything."  
Seymour stood up. "I have had enough of this stupidity!" He gained the features that differentiate him from Sephiroth. "Now, prepare to face the wrath, of the ark god of oblivion, SEPHIROTH!"  
"The one from Final Fantasy VII?" the barber dude asked.  
"No!" Sephiroth asked as he smacked the barber dude to the ground with Seymour's main strand of hair.  
This of course, caused Jyscal to faint.  
Suddenly, the wall busted as a bus on fire smashed through the building and rammed Sephiroth.  
The bus busted out onto the street with Sephiroth holding onto the front. He got up to see a monkey driving inside. "How very peculiar, a monkey driving a bus."  
Tidus and Wakka were gaining on the bus. However, the bus was getting on the highway.  
"Wakka, the bus is getting on the highway!" Tidus called out to his friend who was sitting right next to him.  
"No worries, brudda! We're bring it down!"  
Wakka pulled a switch, causing a huge rocket engine to erupt from the backside of the Hot Rod. "Hold on to something!" Wakka yelled.  
The engine bursted, causing the motorcycle to get right next to the bus. "Jump!" Wakka cried as he jumped on the bus.  
Tidus barely made it before the motorcycle flew back and blew up, causing a huge explosion which propelled the bus farther.  
"Brudda, you go inside and take out the monkey!" Wakka exclaimed as he opened up a hatch on the top of the bus.  
"Be careful," Wakka said as Tidus dropped in.  
Tidus landed and started running towards the driver's cabin, completely ignoring Yuna, Lulu, and a comatose Rikku.  
"Rikku, wake up! Tidus is here!" Yuna exclaimed as she shook Rikku. Lulu sighed. "She's in a coma Yuna. She's like a vegetable. We'll be lucky if she wakes up in twenty years."  
Wakka sat down on the top of the bus as Sephiroth jumped on top. "What are you doing here?" he asked as Wakka looked at him. "I dunno. Me and Tidus are trying to take down the monkey."  
Tidus entered the driver's cabin. "You monkey, stop right now!" he exclaimed.  
The monkey s laughed maniacally and smacked Tidus in the face. Tidus, using his samurai abilities, kicked the monkey out of the window, and started steering the bus.  
It barely came to a halt, before it crashed into the Burger King.  
  
(Oh yeah. Haven't updated in a long time, I know.) 


	10. Why Tidus Shouldn't Get A Cat

(I'm updating again, whoa. You little freaks out there better review, or I'll find you, trust me, I'll find you.)  
  
Chapter Ten: Why Tidus Should Never Own a Cat  
  
The bus was enveloped in flames as all the passengers barely escaped. Tidus jumped out of the bus to see the monkey flip in front of him. It quickly flicked him off, leaving him to stare.  
"You little monkey! You did not just flick me off!"  
"Oh yes he did, brudda," Wakka corrected.  
Tidus gritted his teeth. "I am so going to kick your monkey- Tidus stopped as the monkey started rapidly punching him in the stomach. He then delivered a flying kick to Tidus's chest.  
The monkey then smirked and ran off.  
"You will die Monkey! You, will, DIE!!!!!" So, Yuna and Lulu deposited Rikku at the hospital. The doctors said she should stay the night, just in case she went insane.  
The next day at school went by slowly. At the end of the day, Tidus and Yuna were talking about something, so they decided to walk home together.  
"I still think that it wasn't fair how they got their own video games! I mean, we were friends when we were kids. They're so heartless," Tidus moped.  
Yuna smiled at him. "Hey Tidus, you want to come to my house for awhile? I would like to show you my new cat, Kimhari. He's really amazing. He seems to know what we talk about and he's really intelligent too ."  
Yuna's house was big, as big as a mansion.  
"Are you rich or something?" Tidus asked as they entered her house. "Sort of. My dad has a very good job," Yuna answered.  
They both walked into the den as Yuna looked at the clock. "Are you hungry? If so, I'll be right back."  
Tidus nodded. "Yeah, I didn't eat much."  
Yuna nodded and walked away to the kitchen.  
Tidus plopped down on the couch and waited. "Kimhari wonder why stupid blonde- headed fool has entered with gullible girl."  
Tidus turned. "Look, a kitty! You must be Kimhari."  
"Kimhari think Tidus is complete and total imbecile."  
"Wha?"  
Kimhari shook his head. "Allow Kimhari to explain in words Tidus would understand. Kimhari, think, Tidus, is a, poopy- head."  
Tidus just looked at him. "I don't get what you're saying."  
"Alright then, allow Kimhari to explain in EASIER words. Kimhari think Tidus is dumb."  
Tidus smiled. "Oh, now I... Oh no you didn't!"  
Tidus launched himself at Kimhari, however, using his superior intellect and telekinesis he flipped Tidus over and pinned him to the ground.  
"How are you doing this?" Tidus asked. Kimhari shook his head. "Kimhari just used Kimhari's superior mind, something Kimhari believe Tidus does not have. Kimhari think Tidus should go back to where he belongs, in the dumpster."  
Tidus quickly responded, "That's it Kimhari. Your furry, little blue ass is mine!"  
At that moment, Yuna walked into the room to see Tidus about to attack Kimhari.  
Tidus turned. "Yuna, your cat talks!"  
Yuna just stared at him. "That's funny Tidus, but I doubt cats can speak."  
"No, but he really talked!" Tidus exclaimed.  
"Why don't we just go and eat?" Yuna suggested.  
The dining room was very nice, with a huge chandelier on hanging from the ceiling.  
"Sorry, but this was the only quick thing we have right now," Yuna said as she handed Tidus his macaroni and cheese. "That's fine," Tidus answered as he started eating.  
As Yuna was about to begin eating, Kimhari jumped on her lap.  
Kimhari rubbed his head against Yuna and started to purr. "Ahh, how sweet," Yuna said as she petted Kimhari.  
"You know, in some countries, it's illegal for cats to be with a person when they're eating," Tidus commented  
Yuna gave him a strange look. "Are you some nutcase or something?" she asked jokingly.  
They continued eating. Kimhari suddenly glanced at Tidus giving him the evil eye. Tidus glared back.  
As Tidus placed his fork in his mouth, Kimhari used his telekinetic powers to jam the fork into the back of his throat, stabbing it slightly.  
Tidus pulled the fork out and started grasping his throat as the macaroni went down.  
Kimhari then started purring, distracting Yuna, but at the same time enjoying it.  
Kimhari slightly smirked and used his telekinetic powers as Tidus was about to take a gulp of his water. Kimhari then caused Tidus to miss, spilling it all over the middle of his pants.  
Yuna then looked down. "Tidus! Couldn't you have held it?"  
Tidus blushed. "No, it's not what you think! I... I... Never mind. Uh, I'll take care of it later."  
Tidus started to grow beet red as Kimhari grinned.  
Tidus and Yuna continued to eat their dinner. However, Kimhari suddenly shot Tidus the paw.  
DUM-DUM-DUM!  
  
Tidus stood up. "Thas' it Kimhari! You're going down!"  
Yuna stared at him. "What?" Tidus blushed and sat back down. "Oh, what I meant to say was that this macaroni is so damn good!"  
"It's frozen food," Yuna answered.  
Tidus scratched his head. "Which is exactly why it's so good!"  
Yuna smiled slightly and picked up the plates. "Um, I think we've both had enough."  
She walked away into the kitchen. "This is the last time I ever buy frozen food again," she muttered.  
Yuna walked out of the kitchen. "Hey Tidus, would you like to watch a movie or something for awhile?"  
Tidus nodded. "Sure, why not?"  
They both seated themselves upon Yuna's large couch. She walked over to the TV and placed a DVD in. "You don't mind watching "Cats and Dogs" do you?"  
Tidus shook his head.  
As the movie started, Kimhari seated himself on Yuna's lap. Tidus slightly glanced at him.  
When the cats finally spoke in the movie, Tidus turned back and forth at Kimhari and the TV. He then stood up.  
"You see Yuna! The cats talk!"  
Yuna stared at him. "Tidus, cats don't really talk. Actors speak out their voices and then computers transmit the voices to the animals."  
Tidus sat back down. "Believe what you want, but the cat talks."  
After about an hour of wasted time, the time was around six thirty.  
Yuna stood up. "I'm going to go out side for awhile. Want to come?" she asked.  
Tidus nodded. "Go on. I'll be there."  
Yuna walked outside while Tidus stood up and fixed his cuff. Kimhari stared at him. Seeing that the cat kept on staring, Tidus got freaked out and went outside.  
He found Yuna sitting at the edge of the pool, dipping her feet into the water.  
Tidus sat down next to her. "What's up?" he asked.  
Yuna shook her head. "Nothing really. I'm just a bit worried about Rikku."  
"Hey, just because she went into a coma for five minutes doesn't mean she's going to go psycho or anything."  
Yuna giggled. "I don't know." Tidus scratched his head. "But anyway, at least tomorrow's Friday. I just remembered about Wakka. I didn't go with him to Happy Hair. Crap."  
Yuna then suddenly fell into the pool. Tidus jumped in after her to save her.  
"Yuna! Don't worry! I'll save you!"  
"Tidus!"  
"Don't worry Yuna I'm coming!'  
"Yuna!!"  
"I'm almost there Yuna!"  
"TIDUS!!"  
"What?" Tidus asked. "We're in the shallow part of the pool," she answered. Tidus looked down. "Heh heh, I knew that."  
Yuna started to swim. "Instead of getting out, why don't we swim for awhile?"  
Tidus smiled. "Hey! How about we see which one of us can hold their breath the longest?" Yuna smiled. "Sure!"  
So, they both ducked down underwater. About a milli- second later, Tidus splashed up, gasping for air. Yuna rose up after him. "It seems I win."  
Tidus and Yuna started to slowly swim laps around the pool.  
As Tidus swam around with Yuna, he began to notice her for the young woman that she was.  
He felt oddly drawn to her. He kept swimming with her, watching her every movement. Is hormones began to go crazy, and to say the least, Yuna felt the same way about Tidus.  
Suddenly, they stopped swimming. They looked at each other, and then floated closer, and closer, and closer...  
Their lips met, and they shared a long passionate kiss.  
For them, it seemed to last an eternity.  
Braska drove into the drive- way, and stepped out of the car.  
Tidus and Yuna continued to kiss, un- wanting it to end.  
Braska walked inside the house, it had been a long hard job at McDonald's Exclusive, which was basically the same as McDonald's, they just had more ketchup packets.  
Braska had slaved all day, serving hundreds of Big Macs at the same time, and not even a thank you, not even a single thank you. "Ungrateful little maggots," he thought.  
Kimhari then walked by and wrapped himself around Braska's leg. "Awww, pretty kitty," he said as he petted Kimhari.  
Then Kimhari, who used his telekinetic powers to drop Braska's wallet, grabbed it and ran off.  
Braska chased Kimhari throughout the entire house, until they went outside.  
Kimhari dropped Braska's wallet next to the pool. Braska picked it up. "Stupid cat," he whispered.  
Then, as he looked up and saw Yuna and Tidus kissing, he breathed in heavily.  
"YUNA!!!!!!!" he shouted, causing Tidus and Yuna to break apart.  
Tidus was horrified. "Caught in the act," he mumbled.  
Yuna gasped. "Oh my, what was I doing?"  
  
(How nice... Anyway, I truly have to think Jay Are Vee for without his help, this chapter would never have existed. Oh and yes when Tidus and Yuna were making out that was a macalania woods reference.) 


	11. Stuff Barely fit for an Ending

(The last chapter... before the junkies invades.)  
  
Chapter Eleven: Stuff Barely fit for an Ending  
  
Jecht walked into Tidus's room holding the phone tightly against his ear. "Yeah, okay... He did WHAT? Um, okay, well, bye Braska."  
Jecht turned to confront Tidus. He closed his eyes and shook his head, and then finally spoke.  
"Tidus, Tidus, Tidus. I thought we had this talk already. You shouldn't rush into sex. I'm sure hadn't gotten there, you two would've have already had your clothes off."  
Tidus started to blush. "Furthermore, I am very disappointed in you. You should've learned to control yourself."  
Tidus began to speak. "Dad, she made me do it. I didn't start anything."  
"Well I'll be damned, if I had a gil for every time I used that excuse well... We'd be swimming in gold and junk."  
Jecht looked straight at Tidus. "Never ever do it again. Anyway... How was it?"  
Tidus looked at him confused. "Whaddya mean?"  
"You know, how was IT?" Tidus replied, "Well, it was fun."  
"'Adda boy. That means you're not gay."  
Tidus responded, "Yeah, I guess not. Well, I'm glad we had this talk."  
Jecht smiled. "Well, if you need me, I'll be in the den."  
Tidus walked off to his room, and went to sleep.  
The next day, Tidus speedily got ready for school and ran off out of the house.  
Seymour and Wakka slowly walked to school. "You know Wakka, I heard it's going to take a few months for Happy Hair to be repaired. Yeah, but it said on the news that some psycho monkey escaped the clinic and went on a rampage."  
Wakka frowned. "Well, I ended up paying for that Hot Rod, even though it was a piece of junk and it blew up."  
Seymour looked at him. "Wakka, you stole the motorcycle and blew it up. I think it's fair you have to pay for it, even though those type are cheap."  
Tidus ran up to them. "Hey guys! What's up?"  
Wakka turned. "What happened brudda? I tried to call you last night, but you weren't home. So, I thought you went to a bar, got drunk, and spray- painted graffiti on the capital building."  
Tidus smiled nervously. "Oh don't worry, I did something much worse."  
Wakka looked at him. "And then I called later. You still didn't answer so I figured you got busted, got arrested, stayed in jail for the night. Then your dad had to bail you in the morning, well actually fifteen minutes ago. So, you didn't have time to get ready, so you had to wear the same clothes, and that is why you stink from not taking a bath in five days."  
Tidus scratched his head. "Um, Wakka, you must have an extensive imagination."  
Wakka nodded uneasily. "I guess."  
The trio walked until they reached the school. Seymour walked inside. "Well, see you guys later. Gotta get to Band."  
"You take band?" Tidus asked. Seymour nodded. "Yeah well, my dad forced me into it."  
Wakka rubbed his nose. "I gotta go too. I just remembered I had to pay a guy some million gil or something. He's some crackpot. Says he's part of the Mafia and that'll he'll send his boys after me if I don't pay. But he's a nutcase, so I don't believe him."  
Wakka turned. "And then he said if I didn't pay, he would also hurt his loved ones."  
Tidus started to sweat. "Well, um, Wakka, you don't like me do you?" Wakka smiled. "Well, actually, I'm quite fond of you brudda."  
Tidus started sweating more. "Shit," he muttered.  
The day passed on slowly. The minute the lunch bell rang, Tidus swore he saw a psychopathic monkey smiling at him from the window. When I say smiling, I mean smiling disturbed- like.  
Tidus walked up to Seymour in the lunch- line. "Seymour," he whispered, "I think I saw the monkey again."  
Seymour turned to him while getting a muffin. "Tidus, the people from the asylum caught the monkey. I saw it on the news yesterday." Seymour stopped. "Well, actually, now that I think about it, the news this morning talked about a huge massacre at the clinic. They showed brief footage, showing a bloody disturbing hallway with hundreds of dead bodies spurting blood out. Oh yeah and there were spottings of banana peels scattered across the clinic."  
"Well, just because that happened, doesn't mean the monkey did it," Tidus commented. Seymour looked at him. "Well, there was footage of some dirty banana peels on the walls saying, Monkey was here."  
Just as Seymour finished, Yuna walked behind Tidus.  
"Hey Tidus."  
Tidus turned and blushed. "Um, hey Yuna."  
Yuna picked up a salad. "You know Tidus, I have to apologize for last night. I'm pretty sure we both got into loads of trouble. You know, I'm grounded for a few months. What about you?"  
Tidus started to sweat. "Um well, I got grounded, yeah, for like a year."  
Yuna frowned. "Well, I guess I got lucky," she replied.  
Tidus started to nervously chuckle. "I guess."  
Yuna walked off. Seymour turned to Tidus. "Last night? What happened?"  
They both walked to a table, and Tidus explained himself. Seymour frowned. "Actually, I quite liked Yuna, but now, I guess I don't have a chance with her."  
Seymour took a bite out his burger. "Besides, She refused to go out anyway."  
Tidus scratched his head. "Um, I guess."  
After school, Rikku walked up to Tidus. "Hey Tidus! Yunie told me what you two did!"  
Tidus stared at nervously. "She did? Um, okay." Rikku frowned. "I can't believe you two watched Cats and Dogs without me!" she pouted.  
Wakka walked up to them. "Hey Tidus, I was wondering if you or Seymour felt like going to my house for awhile?"  
Rikku jumped up. "Hey! It can be like a slumber party! Me and Yunie can come too, and we can stay up real late, like till seven o' clock!"  
Wakka looked at her. "How much caffeine have you taken in Rikku? You know the sugar causes you to go really hyper. Almost crazy."  
Tidus turned to Wakka. "Sorry, but I want to go home. I'm scared of the monkey, and of Kimhari, oh yeah and that dude in Seymour's hair."  
Wakka frowned. "Okay, see ya."  
Rikku turned to Tidus. "Um, Tidus?"  
"Yeah?" Rikku rubbed her foot on the ground. "Um, Tidus, do you mind going with me to Playless with me? It has always been my dream to work there."  
Tidus looked at her. "Sure, why not?"  
The two got to Payless in less than a minute, basically because they were a minute away from it.  
Tidus sat down while Rikku browsed around. Suddenly, the monkey dropped down on Tidus's head.  
Tidus looked up, only to see the monkey get in front of his face. "Now little Tidus, you shall die a very painful and mutilated death!"  
Tidus stared at the monkey, shocked. "You can talk?!"  
The monkey smiled. "Yes, I have to thank those sick genetic experiments at the clinic."  
Suddenly, the monkey walked out of the store. Tidus turned. "Hey, why are you leaving?"  
The monkey turned. "The girl with an obsession of monkeys is here, oh yeah, and I wish to be called, Monkey, from now on."  
So, Tidus went home. High school continued to go on for a year. The year went on without any incidents, of course, Sephiroth attacked a few times, same thing for the monkey.  
However, these things didn't matter, even though countless people were mutilated leaving many gravestones. College, was now on it's way, and there were, many, MANY more gruesome and disturbing thins on their way.  
But for now, a short part about Auron, and a normal day at Yuna's household.  
Auron woke up and slowly arose from his bed.  
He quickly brushed his teeth, combed his hair, and got dressed for Yuna's graduation.  
Auron got a glass of orange juice and slowly drank it while Kimhari stretched out on the counter.  
Auron looked at him. "Normally, I'd scoot you off, but I know of your evilness. So I'm going to ignore you."  
Braska walked into the kitchen. "Well Auron, seems you woke up early."  
Auron finished his orange juice. "Yeah well, interesting things happen." 


End file.
